A Squilliam Fancyson guide is what I needed whenever I was younger. Squidward’s arch-rival was an essential part of Squidward’s background, playing a crucial role in what made Squidward who is is today.
Now, it’s been over a decade since the last time we saw Squilliam in person, and as much as I dislike the narcissist, I also miss him. The dynamic between Squidward and Squilliam is something I watched SpongeBob SquarePants for. That’s why I made this Squilliam Fancyson guide. Because I never want to forget.
Who Is Squilliam Fancyson?
- Occupation – Investor, business owner, band director
- Education Level – High School
- Gender – Male
- Skin Color – Light Turquoise
- Eye Color – Dark red with yellow whites
- Species – Octopus
- Est. Height – 10 in.
- Est. Age – Unknown
Squilliam Fancyson is Squidward’s arch-rival. He is introduced in the season two episode “Band Geeks.” Squilliam almost always appears with a maroon robe with a purple tie tucked into it. He has a large unibrow which he called “big and valuable.”
Although some may assume Squilliam is a squid, he is actually an octopus, just like Squidward. Squids have pointed heads, and the creators of the show originally called Squidward “Octoward,” but it sounded too awkward.
So, despite the fact that he only has six tentacles, he’s actually an octopus. This is why his age is hard to decipher because the show has been running for decades, Squilliam appears to be at least in his late 20s, and octopi rarely live to be five years old. The rest is easier to figure out, but his age is not as obvious.
What Does Squilliam Own?
Squilliam Fancyson is a known business owner who also owns quite a few assets. Although there are likely assets that have not been shown on the show, there are a few that we have heard about or seen. A few were mentioned in passing, such as his jet and yachts. But others were clarified.
Squilliam’s Tower is where Squilliam lives. He owns the house, which is shown in full in the episode “House Fancy.” The house looks just like Squidward’s at the bottom, but another Easter Island head is stacked on it, followed by a gorgeous top. The house also has a garden, a waterfall that is full of soda, and a giant unibrow made of doorknobs. In short, it has everything that a good mansion should have and more.
- A Private Lake
- A Heliport
- An Island
- A Casino
- A Restaurant
Squidward Vs. Squilliam
Squidward and Squilliam have quite a history together. Squilliam is introduced as Squidward’ss successful and rich rival, who is everything Squidward wants to be. However, Squilliam is much more condescending and narcissistic than Squidward.
Squidward and Squilliam have been rivals since high school when they were in band class together. Their rivalry never ceases, and unlike other rivalries in the series, theirs doesn’t even let up with a hint of humanity coming from either side.
Aside from their clothing, the two also look identical save for Squilliam’s unibrow. The dynamic between the two is fueled by Squilliam’s success and the fact that he constantly puts Squidward down. He makes fun of Squidward’s job, house, and lower-class lifestyle.
SpongeBob is often thrown in the middle of their feud, with SpongeBob siding with Squidward. In fact, the SpongeBob is the sole reason that Squidward ever “wins” against Squilliam.
Episodes Featuring Squilliam Fancyson
There are only a few episodes that revolve around Squilliam – less than ten. This only solidifies his significance as I myself have blown his presence out of proportion in my mind. So his few solid appearances must have made a huge impact. To put this into perspective, Larry the Lobster – another side character – has been in over fifty episodes of Spongebob SquarePants. Who has made a bigger impact on the series? Larry the Lobster or Squilliam Fancyson?
That may be a discussion for another day, but it does help us take things in and get started.
“Band Geeks” is probably my favorite episode of SpongeBob SquarePants solely because of the amazing song, “Sweet Victory,” that SpongeBob and the gang write. It’s also the first time that we have met Squilliam. He changes Squidward to play at the Bubble Bowl where Squilliam’s band couldn’t make it. In the episode, the band gives an amazing performance, and Squilliam has a heart attack.
In “Squilliam Returns,” Squidward tells Squilliam that he is the owner of a five-star restaurant. Squidward transforms the Krusty Krab and trains SpongeBob to be a server who can do nothing but “fine dining and breathing.” In the end, Squilliam finds out that the whole thing is a sham. He told Squidward he is also a fraud but then laughed it off as a joke. He proves he is truly successful but fiving everyone a ride on his balloon casino.
In this episode, Squilliam’s amazing house is featured on a TV show called “House Fancy.” Squidward becomes jealous and enraged, so he calls the host and tells him that his house is better than Squilliam’s. Squidward does his best to present his house as nicer to the host, but in the end, it is destroyed. This pleases the host, who sees it as a work of art and ends up featuring Squidward’s house in the future.
“Professor Squidward” shows Squilliam as a highly-acclaimed music teacher, offered a job at the Bikini Bottom Prestigious Music College. Squidward pretends to be Squilliam so that he can take the job. Then, the real Squilliam shows up, and the cops arrest Squidward.
Minor Appearances and Mentions
- “I ♥ Dancing” – In this episode, Squilliam appears at the end, where he aggressively trains Squidward to dance, mirroring the way that Squidward trained SpongeBob.
- “Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful” – When Squidward finds out Squilliam has a statue of himself in honor of his work to clean Bikini Bottom, Squidward tries to beat the record.
- “Back to the Past” – In an alternative universe, SpongeBob and Patrick walk by Squilliam.
- “Code Yellow” – Squilliam appears for a moment as one of Squidward’s nose replacements.
- “The Check-Up” – Squilliam appears in a photo on the x-ray photo booth.
SpongeBob Squarepants Squilliam Fancyson Conspiracy Theory
There is a theory so popular that even the SpongeBob SquarePants’ official YouTube channel shared a video regarding the theory. The video starts by sharing that perhaps Squilliam Fancyson never even existed. That he was a doppelganger. A doppelganger is “a spectral apparition of an exact copy of one’s self, usually foretelling the original’s imminent doom.”
The theory is that Squilliam Fancyson is Squidward’s apparition known as a doppelganger. The theory – as shared by the channel – states that the two have been studied by top paranormal scientists. The evidence is that they are both identical. Their skin color, eye color, and even the number of legs are similar. The only difference is the unibrow.
However, no one knows where doppelgangers come from or what they want. What we do know is that each time Squilliam appears, Squidward nearly dies. We also know that the last time we saw Squilliam was in an alternate timeline, which could mean that was his own timeline. One theory suggests that perhaps disrupting his timeline forced him to stay in that timeline.
This isn’t the only theory regarding Squilliam, as others suggest that Squilliam is actually Squidward’s alter ego. That the two are the same person, or rather Squilliam, is Squidward’s other personality – Squidward in disguise. However, considering the two have been seen together many times, this is unlikely. It’s more likely that Squidward is schizophrenic, and a hallucination is seen by Squidward.
Is Squilliam a Fraud?
There’s another huge theory that Squilliam is a fraud. This doesn’t have much to do with Squilliam’s existence as it is solely about who Sqwuilliam is, and according to this, the answer is “one big liar.”
“Band Geeks” Episode
According to this one, in his first appearance, he is spying on Squidward – hires actors to do so – and calls Squidward when he plays his clarinet. In this episode, Squilliam says he has a band that can’t make it to the Bubble Bowl. Then, he shows up without his band. This is fishy.
“Squilliam Returns” Episode
In the next episode that Squilliam appears, Squidward runs into Squilliam outside of the Krusty Krab, which is likely where Squilliam planned to run into him. What really gives this one away is that Squilliam’s “friends” are all random citizens that we see hanging out in Bikini Bottom. The only difference is that this time they have nice clothes on. Hired actors again? Possibly, considering many of them already know Squidward, visit the Krusty Krab regularly.
In this episode, Squilliam also says he is poor and that he made everything up about his life. That he made everything up to impress Squidward. He takes it back, but perhaps he let his walls down for once.
“Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful” Episode
In a later episode, when Squilliam shows off a statue he “earned,” there are a few suspicious lines throughout the episode. But the really suspicious part comes near the end. In the beginning, Swuilliam says that the city built the statue in his honor. But later on, when the statue melts, an officer asks him if it was his statue, and he says that it was, so the officer gives him a ticket for littering. So, was it his statue, or was it the city’s?
“Professor Squidward” Episode
Finally, the most insane episode involves Squidward being mistaken for Squilliam and offered a job as a music teacher. The lady who “mistakes him” for Squilliam says that only a moron would go to his worst enemy’s music recital. This means that even though the lady knew Squidward and Squilliam were enemies, she still accepted that this was Squilliam rather than Squidward. The theory is that this entire episode was staged by Squilliam just to humiliate Squidward. Squidward even gets arrested on live television.
Then again, the theory also suggests that Squidward and Squilliam dated in high school, had a bad breakup, and are now exes that are obsessed with each other. So who knows?
Answer: Squilliam is a band director, but he also is a business owner who owns a casino and a restaurant. There are a lot of theories as to how Squilliam got his start – as he’d have to invest to own these businesses. However, it is still up for speculation as to how Squilliam got rich. Maybe he was born into it, and maybe he was a unibrow model.
Answer: The reason why Squilliam is so mean isn’t easy to assess. After all, he was likely born well-off – a common trope for his personality in film – but this does not excuse his behavior. More than likely, he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Answer: Squilliam’s full name is Squilliam Fancyson the Third. Considering his last name is Fancyson, we now know that he is at least a third-generation Fancyon and was likely born into wealth.
Answer: No one knows what happened to Squilliam. He hasn’t been seen in quite some time, and the last time he was seen, it was in a different timeline. He could be living his life peacefully.
A World Without Squilliam Fancyson
One of my favorite things to do when writing guides is to imagine a world without the subject. In this case, it’s Squilliam Fancyson. Although we can’t know for sure what life in Bikini Bottom would be like without Squilliam, we do know it would affect Squidward. Without Squilliam, I believe Squidward would be more happy-go-lucky as he would never have been subject to Squilliam’s bullying.
But without Squilliam to drive him, it’s just as possible that he would be less motivated to be successful. Then again, he’s worked at the Krusty Krab the entire series with the motivation fueled by outdoing Squilliam. So who is to say things would be any different without Squilliam – Squidward’s arch-rival?
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